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Break Mental Health Stigmas

header image reading Mental Health Awareness Month. May. Break the Stigma.

Have you ever felt broken and wondered how you would take the next step forward?

What did you do?

Did you seek help? Maybe lean on a friend? Or, did you just power through telling yourself to “suck it up, buttercup”? 

Mental health affects every aspect of our lives and we may not even realize it. In 2021, 1 in 5 U.S. adults experienced mental illness but less than half of them received treatment. According to the American Psychiatric Association, “Often, people avoid or delay seeking treatment due to concerns about being treated differently or fears of losing their jobs and livelihood. That’s because stigma, prejudice and discrimination against people with mental illness is still very much a problem.”

Research shows that sharing mental health stories has a positive influence on those dealing with mental illness. By sharing our stories, we open the lines of communication and make mental health challenges relatable and less scary.

It takes a village, as they say, but even on an individual basis, we can still help reduce stigmas. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) asked their community “How do you fight stigma?” and from the answers, came up with nine ways we all can take a stand:

  • Talk openly about mental health: Share your own story.
  • Educate yourself and others: Debunk misperceptions and negativity with facts. 
  • Be conscious of language: Remind people that language matters. Words matter.
  • Encourage equality between physical and mental illness: Explain mental illness as a disease and draw comparisons to medical conditions like diabetes, heart disease or cancer.
  • Show compassion for those with mental illness: Be present when others need to talk and model compassion for those around you.
  • Choose empowerment over shame: Own your story and refuse to let others shame you or dictate how you should feel.
  • Be honest about treatment: Normalize treatment just as with any medical procedure.
  • Let the media know when they’re being stigmatizing: Call out misrepresentation on TV, social media, etc. 
  • Don’t harbor self-stigma: Choose empowerment over shame. You are not alone.

This month is National Mental Health Awareness Month. It has been observed each May since 1949 in an effort to help combat the stigma surrounding mental illness. It’s a time when people, especially celebrities, share their personal stories to spotlight how our mental health is essential to our overall health and well-being.

We all have a story to tell. By sharing, we let others know they are not alone. 

My own story is one of grief, something we all experience.

Nineteen months ago, I watched my father take his last breath after a long health battle. The months before that were filled with doctor appointments, surgeries, COVID scares, work stresses, worry. It was relentless and overwhelming. I was sure that last breath would bring a sense of relief knowing he was free of pain and suffering but I was wrong. 

Suddenly, I was catapulted into an emotional landscape unlike anything I could have imagined. Parental loss. 

In the beginning, I was numb. I didn’t know how to process my emotions. Was I merely dreaming? It happened so fast and yet so slowly. How do I wake up from this nightmare and move on? I felt like I was walking in quicksand and each step took more effort than the one before.

Reality crept in. He was truly gone. No more chances to say what he meant to me. No more stories of past memories. No more wisdom backed by years of experience. The laugh that reverberated throughout a building was silenced forever. Gone was the larger-than-life figure I knew since before I was born, who stood up for me, protected me, guided me. 

The first year was the hardest. Every event was a reminder that he was not there anymore. Sorting through his belongings sparked memories and generated questions that will remain unanswered. 

People offered condolences. Some said “move on.” It’s been weeks or months. Time moves on and it does.

But, grief is personal. It runs deep and washes over you when you least expect it. It comes with its own timeline and triggers. You can’t fight it. You might think you can but the only way around it is through it. 

The ones who understood that, the ones who listened without judgment, provided the most healing. I’m indebted to them.

If someone you love is going through a hard time, you don’t need to have all the answers. Just being there is #MoreThanEnough.

Today would have been my father’s 84th birthday. I wrote a poem about grief in his honor. 

I encourage you to share your own story. You never know who will find comfort in your words.

Sources and Resources:

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The Roller Coaster

Image of a roller coaster coming out of the darkness into light

The door locks behind me and I am alone,
The world suddenly foreign and empty. 
Uncertain, I step into the darkness searching for landmarks.
Angry gray clouds roil above and I stumble.
I feel their laughter pelt me as I struggle on.

In the distance, the roller coaster beckons me forward and I go,
Trudging along steel tracks that stretch on my right for miles. 
I am numb. Unaware. Unfocused. Confused.
Empty cars quietly roll by in steady progression.
Up ahead, they stop briefly to collect passengers and disappear into the twilight.

Closer now, shadows fill the platform, waiting to board. 
Destination unknown.
They are riders of all ages. All sizes. 
Ethnicity and gender don’t matter here.
Some arrive, like me, oblivious of the ride to come. 
A sense of shock cushions their perception.
Others step forward slowly, tangled in a haze of knowledge,
A heavy burden of pain.
Mixed in are the few joyful travelers, overcome with relief…for now.

Propelled by newcomers behind me, I advance to the station.
A car pauses and I climb in. Unready. Unwilling. Unguided. Compelled. 
Another door closes and I’m off.
The track bends and descends out of sight before me.
The stygian void reverberates the deafening silence. Cold air assaults my skin.
The car rumbles onward despite my cascading screams.

Another bend. A rise. Upward momentarily. 
A light glistens out of reach but I try anyway.
I slip and tumble…the car races beneath my feet carrying me deeper. 
Down. Down. Down.
Murky water splashing my face, I gasp. 
The car rolls on. Twisting. Turning. Undulating.

Hours pass. Seasons come and go. The darkness fades.
I round another bend comforted by a gentle breeze, the smell of spring.
Creaky wheels jolt the car randomly through well-worn terrain.
I am unbothered.
Buffered by sweet memories, I journey onward, the roller coaster unending. 
Routine. Familiar. Accepted.

 ©2023 Virginia Emrick. All rights reserved.

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Protect Yourself from Scams

graphic of a person searching the dark web

The phone rings and you check the caller ID. There’s a name and a familiar number, or at least a local one. So, you answer.

“Hello.”

A panicked voice responds, “Hello, Grandma?” Or, Grandpa, Mom, Dad, etc. as the case may be. “I’m in trouble and I need your help.”

Knowing that you’re not a grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, etc., you immediately recognize the call is either a wrong number (highly unlikely) or a scam (more likely) and you hang up.

BUT…what if you are indeed a grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, etc. and the voice on the other end does in fact sound like someone in your family? Do you help? 

Imposter scams are the most commonly reported scams received by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) and hold second place for highest reported losses in 2022. In dollars, that came to $2.6 billion from 2.4 million consumers, or a median loss of $650 per person.

Newly released data from the FTC shows that fraud losses are up more than 30 percent over 2021, with consumers reporting almost $8.8 billion in losses. That’s a huge jump from 2020’s losses of $3.5 billion. 

So how do you protect yourself?

Nowadays, crime is more creative than ever before and scammers are more technically savvy. It’s imperative to stay aware and protect yourself. In an AARP interview on February 9, 2023, Department of Justice (DOJ) Attorney General Merrick Garland suggested prevention as key. To do that, follow the tips below.

“You’re dealing with experts here, and the best solution when dealing with a potential scam attempt is to slow it down. Nobody should be calling you out of the blue and asking you for your Social Security number. Nobody should be calling you out of the blue and asking you for your checking account number. Nobody should be calling you out of the blue and asking for your email address.” Attorney General Merrick Garland

Guard Your Privacy 

  • Check your social media account settings to ensure that the only people who can access your information, photos, and posts are people you know and trust.
  • Shred documents that contain sensitive information, like account numbers or addresses instead of throwing them in the trash.
  • Don’t volunteer information to callers without confirming their identity. For example, don’t say a grandchild’s name when the caller says “Hi, Grandma.” You should also stay quiet when they ask to confirm your address or other personal information, especially if they demand that information before telling you why they are calling.
  • Change your passwords regularly. Use hard to guess combinations of letters, numbers, and symbols. Better yet, use two factor authentication (2FA) and consider investing in a password management tool like 1Password.

Monitor Your Accounts

  • Check your credit report for suspicious activity. Many credit card companies offer credit services with your account but you can also reach out to one of the three credit reporting agencies (Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion) for a free copy of your credit report. You can also use a service like AnnualCreditReport.com, which is the only website authorized by the federal government to issue free, annual credit reports.
  • Watch your bank and credit card accounts for transactions you didn’t make. Some scammers will try making a small transaction to see if it goes through. They are checking if the account is active.
  • Keep a copy or list of all your accounts in a safe place. It’s best if you can keep a copy of the front and back of all your credit cards and ID. Should anything happen, you’ll have quick access to your account information to call customer service.

Validate Information

  • Confirm a caller’s identity by looking up a phone number and contacting the organization they claim to represent to verify why they are calling. But, don’t trust the number they provide as scammers use false information to lure you.
  • Contact your family members to check if there really was an accident, emergency, or other problem. Often scammers will ask you to promise not to share their dire situation with other family members to prevent you from learning the truth.
  • Ensure new merchants are legitimate before you buy online. A quick Google search of the company name and the words “scam,” “fraud,” “reviews,” or “complaints” should provide information to help you make informed decisions.

Most importantly, trust your instincts! If you’re seeing red flags, step back and assess the situation calmly. Don’t cave to the scammer’s pressure. They often try to rush their targets (you) into making decisions. If needed, call your local authorities and ask for advice. And by all means, report fraud to the FTC even if you didn’t fall victim.

Be safe out there!

If you have any tips or resources not covered here, please share in the comments.


Sources:

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Adventures in Gardening

photo of plants growing in small pots

April is National Garden Month. 

As the weather turns warmer and the landscape changes from barren to blooming, we say goodbye to winter and welcome spring with its longer days, green foliage, and warmer temperatures. We kick off the season by celebrating all things garden. 

For the last few summers, I’ve attempted to grow my own vegetable garden. There’s something fulfilling in growing the food in your pantry. Maybe it’s having relatives who farmed successfully over the years. Or perhaps a little too much Little House on the Prairie growing up. Whatever it is, it’s a yearly yearning that draws me out of the house and into the yard…to dig, to plot, to sow, to cultivate, and to reap a bountiful harvest.

Every year, I have the best intentions. I pull out the shovel and hoe. I clear the perfect plot and carefully prepare the ground. I space out my seeds and seedlings. I water, weed, and wait. But sadly, the bugs have stronger intentions and they are FAST! 

The last two years, the pests have completely annihilated my humble garden. Just when I think my plants look amazing and I’m envisioning an abundance of tomatoes and zucchini, the pests swoop in and devour all my hard work. From pesky slugs and hornworms to the latest annoyance, the dreaded Spotted Lanternfly, my garden suffered mightily these last two summers. While I did manage to make a delicious bowl of salsa once or twice, there was no bounty to fill my kitchen or share with my friends. +1 for the bugs.

Now, here we are in the throes of spring and it’s garden planning time once again! Ever the optimist, I staked out my plot in a new section of my yard, tilled and fertilized the soil, and started a batch of seeds indoors. I am READY! This is my year. I can feel it. No bug is going to defeat me this time. No slugs or hornworms or Spotted Lanternfly. They will have to find another garden somewhere else.

Will this happen?

Well, I don’t really know but I am better prepared this year. Not only did I move my garden to a new location and away from where the Lanternflies liked to hang out, I also joined gardening groups and read up on companion planting and natural repellants. From the Three Sisters method to nematodes and neem oil to nasturtiums, I am armed with resources and hoping for the very best garden this summer. 

Keep your fingers crossed for me! 

Share your favorite gardening story or tips in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.

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Everything’s Coming Up Bananas!

Photo of bananas scattered on a blue background

A few days ago, it was National Gardening Day. So, I decided it was the perfect time to plan my annual garden. There I was scouring the internet for garden tools and resources. I scrolled through various rakes and shovels and assorted tool kits and seed options. Suddenly to my great surprise, an unexpected item appeared in the list — behold the banana duck!

photo of three garden statues of bananas peeled halfway with duck faces and webbed feet

Obviously, I couldn’t stop laughing. This little statue was the funniest thing that I’ve seen in a while. It was completely out of place in the middle of all those gardening items and yet somehow, it was perfect. Perfectly hilarious that is!

When I discovered that today was National Banana Day, I thought, “Hey! I know the perfect mascot. Good ole banana duck!” I mean really…doesn’t every day need a mascot?

All right. Maybe not. 

The fact is that National Banana Day was created at some point (the exact origins appear to be lost to history) to celebrate both the nutrition of this once exotic, now humble fruit AND its comedic value. Be honest. You laughed right along with the rest of the audience when an actor “slipped” on a banana peel, right? 

Over time, you likely heard plenty of banana jokes. You may have even told one on your “banana phone.” However, this popular fruit is actually a mighty powerhouse. It’s a conveniently packaged superfood chock full of vitamins and minerals, like vitamin C, iron, and potassium. It’s low in fat and cholesterol, capable of satisfying your sweet tooth, and it even provides a little protein. 

Another benefit of bananas is that you can compost the peel. There’s no waste and it’s a great way to help your garden, as the peel will add nutrients to your soil, like calcium, potassium, and magnesium. It helps you and your garden grow! What’s not to love?

So, grab a banana and celebrate this National Banana Day. (Banana duck not included.)

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Happy National Scrabble Day!

Today is National Scrabble Day. As a writer, you’d think this would be my number one favorite game. While I love playing it, there are a few other word games that I prefer. However, I’m always up for a game of Scrabble and I love watching people play.

The history behind the game is interesting. Scrabble was invented in 1938 by Alfred Mosher Butts in Jackson Heights, New York. 

Butts was an amateur artist working as an architect in New York. When he was unemployed in the 1930s, he became determined to create a board game. He studied the existing games of the time to understand the market and what was already created. Seeing that there were three main categories of games — movement games like checkers, number games like bingo, and word games — Butts decided on word games and combined elements of the two popular games of the day, anagrams and crossword puzzles.

Butts analyzed the English language and calculated how often each of the 26 letters was used. From there, he determined the number of times he would include the letters, as well as the weight (point value) of each letter. He didn’t want to make it too easy!

Originally, Scrabble was named Lexiko. It was later called Criss-Cross Words after Butts made some changes in how the game was played. In 1948, Butts teamed up with James Brunot to help him manufacture and distribute the game. Brunot changed the name to Scrabble and made a few tweaks, such as simplifying the rules.

Sales grew slowly until 1952 when then Macy’s president, Jack Straus, discovered the game and added it to the store’s offerings. Due to the new high demand for Scrabble, James Brunot’s factory was unable to keep up with production and licensed the manufacturing rights to a local game company, Selchow and Righter, that went on to purchase the trademark in 1972.

Scrabble is now produced in the United States and Canada by Hasbro and by Mattel everywhere else. It has influenced numerous other games, such as Boggle, Words with Friends, and Scribbage. There are online versions, travel versions, versions in other languages, video games, competitions, dictionaries, and even TV game shows, one of which was hosted by Chuck Wollery in the 1980s.

From an inspired idea to a trial-and-error development process in Alfred Butts’ living room to the larger-than-life game we all know today, Scrabble is firmly embedded into our gameplay.

Celebrate National Scrabble Day. 

Grab your Scrabble board and dictionary, and let’s play! 

#NationalScrabbleDay

*Note: My website is supported by my users through affiliate links. I may earn a small commission, at no additional cost to you, when you purchase through these affiliate links. Thank you!

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A Taste for Chick-fil-A

It’s no secret that Chick-fil-A has a reputation for great service and the most courteous employees of any fast-food restaurant. In fact, they just ranked number one in customer satisfaction according to a poll by the American Customer Satisfaction Index (ACSI). They also toppled burger giant “In-N-Out” in Food & Wine’s Market Force survey of America’s top fast food chains.

While every location I’ve gone to has provided excellent service, the Bob Mancini locations in Mt. Laurel, New Jersey have been, hands down, the absolute best franchises I’ve visited. Their commitment to their customers and community is above par. From their weekly family nights to their spirit night fundraisers to their special events (like summer camps, Halloween parties and Easter egg hunts), they go out of their way to give back to the community and make their customers feel valued and part of a family. No one is excluded. Everyone is treated like they belong. No judgement. No negativity. Just pure acceptance and welcoming. In this day and age, that’s hard to come by and a needed relief.

In addition to their regular slate of family-friendly activities, the marketing team at this franchise is constantly developing ideas to keep their customers engaged. For example, on August 10, 2019, they will host their first COWchella event, a fundraiser for the Hearing Loss Association of America and just one of the many ways they give back. The event will include an evening of music, crafts, and other activities provided by community partners.

Other fun events they’ve done include movie nights, gingerbread house decorating, trivia nights, pirates and princesses night, father/daughter and mother/son events, and more! There’s always something fun to do there. Whether it’s East Gate Square or Centerton Square, be sure to check out their Facebook page for information and then stop by. You won’t be disappointed.

Will I continue to support them? Of course. It’ll be “my pleasure.”

 

*Page contains affiliate links

 

 

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Come on Down to Wiggle Town

The time is here. The Wiggles are back in North America for their Wiggle Town Tour. If you have kids, and even if you don’t, make sure you secure your tickets for a show near you. They are excellent performers and kind, super-talented people. You won’t be disappointed.

My son is an avid fan of The Wiggles. Many of his first words came from listening to and watching them. From traditional toddler tunes like Open, Shut Them; Twinkle Twinkle Little Star; and The Wheels on the Bus to Wiggle originals (and fan favorites) like Hot Potato and Rock-a-Bye Your Bear, he loves to sing along and imitate their actions.

So, it was a no-brainer for us to attend a show at our first opportunity, which was the Rock and Roll Preschool Tour in September 2015. We had a great time. Everyone in the room was smiling from ear to ear the whole show. When Lachy came into the audience to shake hands and collect bones for Wags the Dog, he became the first non-family member to get a high-five from my son, which was the highlight of our day and explains why his favorite colors are purple and black.

Now, we’re excited to see them again for this year’s tour and we can’t wait for show day to arrive in October.

Don’t miss out! Get your tickets now and enjoy the show.

G’day, mate!

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October 2015 – Update

I’m pleased to announce that my novel Stalking Horse is now available for purchase through Amazon.com. It’s currently in Kindle and print versions.

It’s about a celebrity and his overzealous fans and the mayhem that ensues when one of them goes a little too far.

From the back cover:

Hunky celebrity Lucas O’Dell lives his dream. Men want to be him; women want to be with him but stardom isn’t everything with fans like Luke’s. Trying to outdo each other with their knowledge of Luke, they gather information by hanging around Luke’s hotspots and pumping the locals. Now, he’s receiving mysterious calls and visits at home, where secrets lurk. When Luke returns from his movie premiere, he’s devastated to discover his friend shot and left for dead – a moment that changes Luke’s life forever. The hunt is on for the stalker and clues lie within Luke’s chat room.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

Enjoy!